Miss Pauling (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
prpl_assistant) wrote2011-09-12 11:56 am
prpl_assistant) wrote2011-09-12 11:56 am
Memo 001: Meet the Assistant.
A. Action for 1337 Benny Road.
[The first thing Miss Pauling notes when she opens her eyes is how bright the bedroom is. She shuts her eyes tightly, having not yet readjusted to the light. However, when she opens them up again, she immediately notes something else.
The walls around her weren't coloured purple.
Confused, she reaches for her glasses at the bedside table, only to note that they weren't her usual optic wear either. They were just the wrong shape.]
That's strange, where are my glasses...?
[Her hands fumbled around for her familiar pair of spectacles, until she accidentally knocked over the lamp with a resounding smash.]
Ooops.
B. Phone
Hello? Is there anyone there? I...I think I've been kidnapped!
[The first thing Miss Pauling notes when she opens her eyes is how bright the bedroom is. She shuts her eyes tightly, having not yet readjusted to the light. However, when she opens them up again, she immediately notes something else.
The walls around her weren't coloured purple.
Confused, she reaches for her glasses at the bedside table, only to note that they weren't her usual optic wear either. They were just the wrong shape.]
That's strange, where are my glasses...?
[Her hands fumbled around for her familiar pair of spectacles, until she accidentally knocked over the lamp with a resounding smash.]
Ooops.
B. Phone
Hello? Is there anyone there? I...I think I've been kidnapped!
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[Still thinks that's a little strange.]
That depends on how strange they are. If they think you're really their mother then they're only drones. If they know you shouldn't be here, then yes they were kidnapped as well.
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So, they're not real people then? Are they just robots then? ((OOC: Oh the irony.))
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No, they aren't.
But thank you for telling me I'm not a person. I suppose I'll just let you sort the rest out by yourself since I'm not real enough.
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[Que lightbulb and guilt as she figures it out. ]
...you're a robot? Oh. OH. Wait, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to insult you, it's just...I didn't know robots could talk. Or answer the phone.
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Also? I could talk and answer the phone, LONG before I arrived here.
There are other robots and non humans here as well, so you might want to put your insulting human superiority away before you talk to anymore people.
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I really, really am sorry.
[She does feel very mean and horrible about it. Plus, there's a sinking feeling in her gut when she hears "robots and non humans". What did this person mean by that?]
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My name is GLaDOS. Genetic Lifeform and Disc Operating System.
You're in Mayfield. We don't know how or why we're here. But we are. Impossible things happen here, an example being an AI in a human body.
People come from all sorts of different worlds here. If you die you'll just wake up in bed the next day. The town loops so we can't leave. And once a month the town enjoys torturing us by locking us in rooms with idiots or making us drink poison.
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But she did still feel bad about Ms GLaDOS. Plus, she was still helping her out, even though she'd insulted her, albeit unintentionally.]
Thank you Ms GlaDOS for the information, it was very helpful. I still have a few more questions, but if you would prefer it I could ask someone else instead.
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What do you mean by people from all sorts of different worlds? You've told me there other AIs and non-humans here. Could I have more clarification please, Miss GLaDOS.
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...like Lithuania and Russia?
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I'd say it's impossible, but we're living in a town that defies any explanation.
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(Miss Pauling's feeling a bit shocked by now, given the fact that she's just spoken to two countries. When she speaks again, her voice is still a little weak.)
Are any of the people from these different worlds dangerous?
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In general there's not really much you can do to tell though.
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[Also her friend, but shush, that is a lie.]
Though to be honest, it's more the people who live here normally that you should avoid. The milkman, the mayor...ect..
Oh and the Smith family. Stay away from all of them.
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Right, I've got all of that.
Would you happen to also know someone who can provide me with more information regarding Mayfield? I've heard of the pamphlet going around, but I'd like to broaden my sources.
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Oh and also someone named Wheatley. He's...I wouldn't say harmless, but the biggest idiot who ever lived would be a good title.
I'd ask around. There's the pamphlet and some people have been here a very long time and don't mind talking.
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