prpl_assistant: (phone)
Miss Pauling ([personal profile] prpl_assistant) wrote2011-09-12 11:56 am
Entry tags:

Memo 001: Meet the Assistant.

A. Action for 1337 Benny Road.

[The first thing Miss Pauling notes when she opens her eyes is how bright the bedroom is. She shuts her eyes tightly, having not yet readjusted to the light. However, when she opens them up again, she immediately notes something else.

The walls around her weren't coloured purple.

Confused, she reaches for her glasses at the bedside table, only to note that they weren't her usual optic wear either. They were just the wrong shape.]

That's strange, where are my glasses...?

[Her hands fumbled around for her familiar pair of spectacles, until she accidentally knocked over the lamp with a resounding smash.]

Ooops.

B. Phone

Hello? Is there anyone there? I...I think I've been kidnapped!

[identity profile] haveaplan.livejournal.com 2011-09-12 12:11 pm (UTC)(link)
(He's making breakfast when he hears the crash. Huh, new arrival time already? He figures whoever his new wife is, she'll need some time to calm down, so he just stays where he is and starts cooking more food.)

[identity profile] haveaplan.livejournal.com 2011-09-12 12:42 pm (UTC)(link)
(That sounded like...

No, it couldn't be.

But it didn't seem very likely that either Spy would use that voice as a disguise given what just happened recently (http://mayfield-logs.livejournal.com/161107.html). He stays where he is and calls back:)

Come on in, brekkie will be ready in a tick.

(Good thing he has a knife in hand, just in case.)

[identity profile] haveaplan.livejournal.com 2011-09-12 12:53 pm (UTC)(link)
That I am, Miss Pauling. (Beat.) Th' RED one.

If you don't moind, would you come in so we can talk face t' face? You can Spoi-check me if you'd loike.

[identity profile] haveaplan.livejournal.com 2011-09-12 01:34 pm (UTC)(link)
(With the apology as warning, the Sniper has enough time to turn so the trophy goes into his shoulder instead. It still hurts, of course, but better a giant bruise there than a concussion.)

(His expression and tone still the same polite detachment it was before:) Now that we've got that out 'f th' way, woi don't you sit down for some brekkie? I've only got decaf in th' 'ouse, but if you'd loike I can pour you some.

[identity profile] haveaplan.livejournal.com 2011-09-12 04:01 pm (UTC)(link)
No worries, you didn't break any skin. I'll just put some ice on it.

Sit down, eat. I'll brief you about this place once we're done.

[identity profile] haveaplan.livejournal.com 2011-09-13 12:07 am (UTC)(link)
Wouldn't dream 'f kidnapping you. It's th' work 'f 'ooever runs this place.

(And he starts teal deering about what he knows about Mayfield between bites of breakfast, his brain still not quite having processed the "boss' second-in-command is my not!wife" thing. He's simply decided that he's not going to think about that right now and treat her like he would any other new arrival.)

[identity profile] haveaplan.livejournal.com 2011-09-13 01:47 am (UTC)(link)
(Having never seen Miss Pauling freak out about anything, he finds this both amusing and worrisome. Half of him thinks: "Huh, so she's human after all." and the other half: "I don't look forward to holding down the bunker when things really goes to shit.")

In name only. Th' master bedroom's all yours. I 'aven't slept there for over a year, and I don't moind taking most 'f th' chores.

We're not th' only ones 'ere, either. For RED, there's also th' Spoi and th' Pyro; for BLU, their Spoi, Pyro, Scout, and Medic.

(He, of course, has yet to find out about the other new arrivals since he isn't omniscient.)

[identity profile] haveaplan.livejournal.com 2011-09-13 02:01 am (UTC)(link)
We've got an unofficial ceasefoire going, but th' BLU Spoi just keeps on doing 'is thing.

It's roight irritating, but it's 'is job, after all.

[identity profile] haveaplan.livejournal.com 2011-09-13 02:22 am (UTC)(link)
We're 'ardly 'olding 'ands and singing around a campfoire. We're just troying t' stay civil t' each other because there's bigger things t' worry about.

(He nods at her when she offers to do the dishes.)

Appreciate it.

[identity profile] haveaplan.livejournal.com 2011-09-13 02:58 am (UTC)(link)
(Nods.)

Almost a year and a 'alf.

Th' record 'f being around th' longest goes t' th' BLU Scout, though.

[identity profile] haveaplan.livejournal.com 2011-09-13 05:56 am (UTC)(link)
That's a relief t' know, but it's not loike I'm indispensable. RED's got plenty 'f good Snoipahs.

[identity profile] haveaplan.livejournal.com 2011-09-13 06:44 am (UTC)(link)
You may get assogined a job, but you moight not. If you don't, you could go around th' neighborhood gathering intelligence.

That remoinds me, you'll need a gun. This place isn't safe for Civilians.

(He gets up and nods towards the living room.)

Wot sort 'f foirearms are you most familiar with?

[identity profile] haveaplan.livejournal.com 2011-09-13 12:19 pm (UTC)(link)
(The Sniper's impressed.)

You use a 'and cannon loike that? Sure, I've got one. Th' gun cabinet's in th' living room. You want t' come take a look? Maybe something else moight catch your eye.

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